'beautiful' memory

have you ever had a beautiful moment, but later when you think about it, it makes you cry because you can’t imagine it as a beautiful memory as it is, but as the worst memory which you want to erase it from your life? And for me, it’s a yes, I have got this kind of memory. Let me tell you my ‘shit’ story. I call it shit because I freakingly want to erase everything about it, but like you know I can’t. so I’ve had a crush when I was at my last year of junior high. I tried to know him better and better every single day. I chat with him almost everyday. i like him when he showed his cares, maybe it’s not important for everyone, but something like ‘what are you doing?’ or ‘have you eaten?’ can make me so happy *is that wrong?* I don’t know why, ‘I’m stupid’ or ‘I do whatever it takes to make him happy thing’ that made me told him to trying the best to get his special one which is not me and ‘thanks God’ they’re dating now. I know all the chats and alll his cares can be a beautiful memory,even my feeling for him. but now If you asked me is that a beautiful memory or not, I will say no. a big big NO. because I can’t remember it as a beautiful memory, because everytime I think about him, there’s always tears come up not a smile. I don’t want you to feel sad for me or what, but one thing I’ve learn from that memory, even i can't change it to be a beautiful memory again, i still can see it from the positive side. Cause there’s the only way to make me move on. I know it’s hard but everything need progress right? And I still in my progress now. i know it's complicated, but this is what we call : LIFE. Hahah.
Hope you all have a great day.

i love this song. it has meaning for me.